he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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