good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize