Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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