false alarm. still invincible.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize