I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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