Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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