I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
