Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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