Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
