awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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