Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
