he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
