so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
