Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
