I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
