Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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