you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Randomize
