The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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