I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize
