I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
There's a naked man in my car right now.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
