help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
