fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
