i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
i out mim tonsoeep
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