Duck Duck Cougar?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
