Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
