My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
