All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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