i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
