That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
