He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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