love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
