i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
My friends, they love my intelligence
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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