so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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