I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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