Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize