Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
