That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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