I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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