The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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