Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Randomize
