The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize