Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
