New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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