so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize