What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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