I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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