she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
