We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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