i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
