he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
tell me about the fingering
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