I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
