Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
