nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
