i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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