i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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