I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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