I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
