have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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