you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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