you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize