It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
