You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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