I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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