I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize