i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
