p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
