Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
