kristin has been a bad kristin
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I love having hate sex.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
