We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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