oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize